Hollywood Mirage Los Cristianos Review

I had a booking at the Hollywood Mirage Los Cristianos in Tenerife. It was booked through booking.com. I had to delay my arrival by one day. So I contacted booking.com to advise them I'd be late. I did this three times, and each time, they advised that I was expected to arrive on the day I was booked and ignored my request. 

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The reservation department for Excel Hotels phoned me as they'd intercepted my repeated messages. They told me to cancel the booking with booking.com and book directly with them. They were so nice. A lady called Noel was charming, and I emailed them to thank her. 

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On the day I was due to arrive, they phoned again. Wow! What a great service, I thought. Another agent asked me if I would like to change my hotel to one that is closer to the seafront. 

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It's less hilly, she said. Not that I was concerned about walking out. I asked her if it was a nice place to stay, and she said yes.  Why not? Yes, please, that sounds nice. Let's see. Wrong!

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Oh dear, not a good start. First of all, the taxi driver dropped me at Beverley Hills Heights, saying it was suites. The receptionist there said I could walk to it, but I knew I couldn't with my bags, so they ordered me a taxi to get to Hollywood Suites. 

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I was not surprised the taxi driver couldn't find it. The sign outside said Hollywood Clubs. Now, I wanted a nice hotel for two nights before going on a cruise just to chill out. So I've got two suitcases with me, one big, one small, and my handbag. There isn't a porter here. The Receptionist showed me a map of where to go. 

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All I can say is he doesn't know his left from right, and his just two stairs are about 30. There is no signage on the walls. You have to go up the stairs along the corridor, then go down the stairs again. I tell you, I was ready to scream. 

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I can't manage two bags and look at a map of tiny writing all at the same time, in semi-darkness. I asked another guest if she knew the way, but she couldn't help and was lost herself. It was getting dark, and eventually, I saw the gentleman who checked me in. I shouted, can you please help me to my room? Which he did. 

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So I'm in. Yuk, it is horrid. Very dated. The first thing I need to do is put my valuables away. Looking at the safe, I see it's very old, and all the instructions have worn away. So I couldn't use that. 

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Next, the bed is as hard as a table. The bedspreads are horrible, old, thin and faded. I've found two duvets in the wardrobe and put them on the mattress to soften the bed. The place smells very strongly of bleach and cleaner, to the point my eyes are watering. 

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There are big chunks missing off the corners of the cupboards in the bathroom, where it has delaminated. The receptionist says there is a patio. I opened the door, and it looked onto a wall. Alright, if you are a smoker, I suppose, ok. Otherwise, it has no purpose, no view, nothing, just a space.  

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So, let's do something about the smell. I tried to turn the air conditioner on. No, that doesn't work. I'm getting so frustrated. So I've made up my mind that I'm going to check out a day early and find a hotel near the port. 

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I went down to reception and asked the gentleman on duty if I could have one night refunded. He said that it needs to be done through reservations.  I said about the safe. Fair enough, it does say on the map to get a key from reception for a charge. 

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Then I asked about the air con, and he advised me I needed to have a remote control and leave a deposit of 20 euros. Did I know? Of course not, it doesn't say anywhere. I was so fed up now I just wanted to go. 

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I've checked the reviews for Hollywood Mirage against Beverley Hills, and I would say they are better. I asked the receptionist about availability, and he said it was full. I was wondering if I could change, so they must've given my original room away. I’d explained in my e-mail, my personal circumstances, and I was looking forward to a nice break.

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I just feel that if you are a solo or a lady on her own, oh,  give her the dodgy apartment down the road. The receptionist has given me the phone number and email for reservations, but to be honest, I hate this place so much. It's not about the money, though I do want one night refunded. 

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It's about how you feel, to put joy in your heart, you are on holiday! This place just makes me feel sad. There's no freshness about it. Even the bar area looks like a canteen. The receptionist also said it depends on which apartment you booked. Well, I didn't book any specific apartment. It was all done over the phone with reservations, and I was supposed to be staying at the Hollywood Mirage. 

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What a mess! It's not for me, but maybe it would suit a family or a young couple. It's not very often I make mistakes as I've worked in the travel industry myself, and I usually do my homework. Hey Ho, I can't wait to get out. 

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Update. I had breakfast, and it was ok. I've booked a taxi to take me to Santa Cruz, and I'm checking out at 10.00 a.m. So now I have to go up and down these stairs again. I had to do one bag at a time; there were about 30 tiled steps. 

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You go up, and then you have to go down again. Two men who were cleaning the patios just looked at me, struggling. It wasn't until one of the lovely cleaning ladies saw me then she helped. 

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Bless her.  I'm not disabled, but I am getting on a bit. Please don't book this place if you struggle to lift heavy things up and down steps. There's no lift and no one to help. I had very little sleep on the very hard bed, and I felt something was creeping all over me. It might have to do with the rubber sheet.   

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Oh well, the sun is shining, and worse things happen at sea.